Ticket Routing Labyrinth

Gristmill's Ticket Routing Labyrinth is a support-ticket management system designed to maximize the operational complexity of even the simplest support requests. Rather than routing tickets to qualified personnel for resolution, the system applies a sophisticated classification logic that ensures every ticket passes through a minimum of seven different departments before being returned to the original requester or escalated into a permanent queue.

The system implements a multi-stage routing protocol. Initial tickets are routed to the Service Desk, where they are classified and sent to the appropriate technical team. That team determines the ticket requires coordination with a second team, at which point it is routed there. Each handoff includes a mandatory review period of 2-4 business days. Tickets frequently loop back to previous departments due to classification disputes or because the original queue was eliminated during a recent reorganization. The system maintains a log of every ticket's routing history and will never route a ticket to the same department twice in a row, even if that department is the correct resolver.

Five client organizations have deployed the Ticket Routing Labyrinth and report substantial improvements in metrics that matter most: the average support ticket now spends 67 business days in transit between departments, with a maximum observed duration of 203 days for a password-reset request. Only four percent of tickets are resolved within the original department. User satisfaction with the support process has declined measurably, but the system has successfully created a perception that IT support is a complex, mysterious process requiring persistence and faith.

Proof Points